Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
