pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Swine flu. Run for my life!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can I color on your dick again?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
