Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
