I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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