Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
