i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize