Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize