Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
