Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize