ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
