I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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