That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is my gift to your gina
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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