When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
