So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
