Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
