Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
