I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
