Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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