I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Found your dick twin last night
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
