fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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