tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
