So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
