you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
