I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
