is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
