Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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