Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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