That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
