Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
