i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize