I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
