she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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