So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
