I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
