I skipped work to stalk him.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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