guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Someone shit on the floor
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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