I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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