found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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