is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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