just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
