she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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