I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
