Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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