God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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