So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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