I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So. Much. Porn.
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