The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
