i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
