Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
