why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
