if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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