..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
