We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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