I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
