matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
