Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
