So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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