Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
