Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
