I think im going to throw up on grandma
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
