He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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