i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
