Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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